


Maybe He Isn't So Alone

by Beatleslover2005



Series: Shane One Shots and Other Stories [1]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Being Walked In On, Caring Sebastian, Chickens, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Holding Hands, Hook-Up, How Do I Tag, I Can Help Him I Swear, I love Shane, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love, Marnie Is Supportive, Masturbation in Shower, Mentions of alcohol, References to Depression, Shane Being an Asshole, Shane Is Best Chicken Uncle, Short One Shot, Slow Build, Stripping, Sweet, Undressing, Watching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatleslover2005/pseuds/Beatleslover2005
Summary: Shane had no interest in speaking to the Farmer living up north, and he had no problem keeping himself away from her. There was nothing to gain from their friendship, so he stopped it before it began.But when he comes home to find that the Farmer covered for him when Marnie asked about his drinking, there was no other choice than going up to the farm and asking why the Farmer helped him. Why would she help someone like him? Did she have more in common with him then he thought? And did he really hate her as much as he said he did?
Relationships: Sebastian/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Sebastian/Player (Stardew Valley), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Reader, Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: Shane One Shots and Other Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845673
Comments: 22
Kudos: 221





	1. I Dont Hate You, I Just Strongly Dislike You

It was raining down hard as Shane braced himself through the wind, his arms tightly pressing down his barely dry hoodie while staring straight ahead, water pelting his face and head before he could find any type of shelter. Even when he finally made it underneath a tree, the rain pounded down against his slumped over form, eyes cast towards the murky and muddy puddles that formed by his feet.

Yet another day with a horrible storm.

Ad yet another day with Shane walking him from the Saloon, soaked.

In a way, it barely bothered him now. Most days, the rain matched his moods, the feeling of water splashing down and making him cold so much like the daily weight of life. What was so different between the numbness of water and the dullness of beer? Both made him feel worthless, even if it at second helped clear his head. But after it all passed, he was always alone with his thoughts and that pounding in his mind. Sometimes the pounding was a hangover...somtimes it was his head trying to hurt him.

In the end, he was always alone...

Quickly running out, he jumped between the trees to avoid extra water, but the rain still managed to thoroughly soak him by the time he made it to the farm. It didn't make things better that the lights were still on, meaning Marnie was up waiting for him. If Manie was up, that implied he was in trouble, and if he was in trouble, that suggested he could expect a lecture.

For once, he didn't feel drunk enough to deal with this. Most nights, he could just walk past and ignore it, then in the morning, he would give a half-assed apology and do it again. 

But instead of drinking his pain away, that damn Farmer interrupted his nightly routine by insisting he sit with her and eat some of the pizza she ordered. In his mind, he concluded that the only reason he went with her along was for food, but deep down, he knew that he enjoyed the company. It wasnt like anyone in town tried to hang around his sorry self.

Besides, the Farmer  _ was _ kind of cute.

Instead of dwelling further on that, he slowly creaked open the door and poked his head in, shoulders instantly tensing when he saw Marnie leaning against the shop counter. Her eyes slowly moved along with his body while he stepped inside, his boots squelching against the floor and water tip-tapping against the ground as he shook out his hair. When he looked back up, the purple locks covered part of his face, but he could still see the worry on Marnies' face. 

"Im...I'm back."

"It's late, you know. You didn't tell me where you were going, Jaz was worried about you..." Marnie's voice was soft but steady as Shane pulled both his arms from the soaking hood that was pathetically wrapped around his shoulders, the fabric drooping as he hung it up on the coat hanger. "The farmer stopped by today."

He paused and looked over, confused. Did the farmer stop by while he was out at the Saloon earlier? Or did she somehow make it here before he did to stop and drop the message that he was drinking again? "Oh yeah?"

"Picking up some feed for her newest chickens. Lovely girl, really. I told her about how worried I've been about you. How you've been going out late every night...How you spend so many days out even with Jojo mart closed..."

"What did she...say?" The dread was already inching up his back as he finally allowed himself to stare at her straight in the eyes. A few moments passed before she smiled gently and shook her head.

"You should've just told me, Shane."

"I'm...I'm sorry? What?"

"You've been helping out the Farmer! She mentioned you've been coming over and helping around with the crops and animals. It was such a shock that I almost couldn't believe it! All this time, you've been pretending to dislike her, but then I go and find out you've been helping her out without anyone even asking!" The confusion fell from his face and went to a blank look as Marnie smiled brighter, her excitement bursting out as she moved forward to grab his hands. "This is perfect for you, Shane. You've been drinking so much lately and spending all your time alone...But now you have someone! Not only that, but she likes animals! Oh, I'm so proud of you, Shane. This is such a good chance for you."

Her hands dropped his as she talked about bringing over some more hay as a gift, but his mind felt like it was filled with static that slowly began to overflow any sounds he heard.

The farmer...lied? Just to save him from getting in trouble with Marnie? 

But why?

It wasnt like he was exactly friendly to the girl; in fact, he was an asshole for the first few weeks she tried to befriend him. It was only later on when she came out to the pier he allowed her to semi-hang out with him, and that was mainly in the Saloon after she bought him a few beers with pizza.

The point was, they weren't friends. She owed him nothing. So why would she cover for him? Did she know how much trouble he would've been in this time around? Marnie had threatened to do something if it continued, but the Farmer wouldn't have known about that. Of course, maybe she had just done it to get revenge and make him feel guilty about drinking all day or something like that.

If he was going to figure this out, he would have to speak to the Farmer, but that would need to wait till tomorrow. Mentally he ticked off all that he needed to do before seeing her.

His jacket was beyond soaked and wouldn't be done by morning, so he would have to wear something else ((That is, if he had any clean clothes....when was the last time he did laundry?)) or just wear the old, dripping, mildew smelling coat.

Ok, he would wear something else.

Next would be what he would say to her. Before he could try and think of anything, he realized that somehow he managed to walk over to his room and sit down on the small twin bed, his hair dripping down into his lap and the sheets slowly absorbing the rainwater. 

"Damn it!" Quickly he jerked off the bed and huffed out. Thankfully the walls were thick enough that Marnie couldn't hear his angry mumbling as he shuffled out of the wet clothes and into new shorts with a white tank top on top. When he settled back into the bed, its sheets were still a bit damp, but it wasnt unbearable enough for him to suffer through the cold night instead. 

As he looked up at the ceiling, rain making a pattering sound similar to grease snapping in a pan from cooking, blankets heavy over his numbing body, the thoughts inside his mind slowly seeping out into a dull slumber as they took over his body. The world and its worries seemed to melt away into the sheets; all that was left behind was his whithering bones, refined from a lack of hubris and the ingenuousness you could only achieve from a peaceful night in the valley.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, uh, Marnie? Do you know if I have any coats?" Shane's head popped through the main entryway as Marnie looked up from the animal catalog in front of her, her eyebrows rising in suspicion as Shane slowly crept in further. "My hoodie is soaked from last night, and I can't find anything in my damn closet."

"You're going out? But its Friday, dont you head up to the Saloon on Fridays to watch the grid ball games?"

"I'm...Heading up to the Farmers' place." His voice was small as another bright grin filled her face. Seeing her so happy was almost guilting him, the only reason she was this happy was because of some lie that the neighbor told to save his ass from getting kicked out of town. While it did make him guilty, he couldn't deny that seeing her happy with him for once did bring him some semblance of joy...He just wished it didn't happen because of a lie.

Setting the book down fully, she carefully walked around the corner over to a small entryway. The door was slightly open, and when she pushed it open, Shane could see some old coats that were Jaz's when she was smaller. Towards the back was a black jean jacket, the fabric soft and authentic looking as she pulled it out with chortle.

"I wasnt supposed to give you this till your next birthday, but I imagine the Farmer would understand."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, back when she came to town, she was so bummed out that she missed giving you something special on your birthday. She wanted to make you something sweet but didn't have anything for it. A while back, she managed to start making clothes and gave them out to a few of the town residents. When I ran into her at Pierre's, she insisted I keep it until your next birthday, such a sweet gift honestly. It'll look good on you." She grumbled underneath her breath as he took the jacket. "Much better than that old thing you wear all day-"

Grinning, he raised an eyebrow and slipped it over his gray tee shirt with a chuckle. "What was that, Aunt Marnie?"

"Nothing!"

"Heh, sure...Oh Yoba, what time is it?!" He looked around before his eyes finally settled on the small clock on the desk, his eyes widening when he saw the passing time.

Even though he knew very little about the Farmer, he knew she got up early to start farming then headed out to the mines if she wasnt too tired or didn't have anything else to do. Last night she had mentioned she only goes during rainy days ((What she had spent most of yesterday doing.)) but insisted on going back out again because of how close she was to the end—something about a miner's instinct, but he couldn't remember.

Before Marnie could say another word, he quickly rushed out of the house and made his way up into the farm, his hair messily flipping into his face as the wind began to pick up. 

Why did it always have to be so damn cold after the rain?

At this point, he wasnt sure if he had gone up to the farm before. Since most of the time he hung out with the Farmer was at the Saloon or on the way to work, there never seemed to be a reason to come by to the old place. It was a pity, though, since the area was a lot nicer then he thought it would be.

Besides the clear fields all around him, there was a certain ambiance that he found himself savoring. The distant clucking of chickens and mooing of cows, the buzz of bees flying nearby, the sweet scent of maple syrup and flowers, and freshly grown produce came together into one massive rush of sensations. Even the smaller things, like how his feet crunched on the falling leaves and cobble rocks that made up the walkways, the rosy apples hanging overhead waiting to be picked up, the small sheds in the distant next to a small and perfect house, it all felt so... overwhelming.

Did the Farmer spend all their time  _ here _ ? This must've taken them hours! To get this much work done during the small amount of time they had been here was mind-boggling, but maybe he was impartial since he barely worked even when he HAD a job. Either way, it was impressive, and he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed.

As he waled through the different pathways, he finally caught sight of the Farmer, her eyes squinted angrily, and hands on her hips as a chicken clucked up at her snidely. When she finally reached forward, it fluffed out its feathers and squawked loudly, the noise rustling up the other hens as she tried to snatch it to put it back inside its pen.

"Dang it, Shadow, get back into your pen! I have to feed the others, and you are seriously getting in my way by not LISTENING!"

"CLUCK CLUCK!"

"I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE IT IN THE PEN, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE IN THERE. I EVEN GAVE YOU EXTRA CORN JUST GET IN THE DAMN FENCE!" Finally, she managed to grab the bird. "I GOTCHA!"

"CluCK CLUcK!" It stared up at her angrily as she settled it down into the pen gently, her fingers smoothing over the feathers until it eventually calmed down enough to move away without causing another fight. "Cluck cluck cluck-"

Shane paused as she brushed off his hands over the black jeans that hugged her legs. From far away, he could see a few loose strands falling from her tied back hair, the small hat resting on her head, giving shade against the bright sun, and covering her slowly tanning skin. When she had first came to town, she wasnt as tan, but hours working in the field had helped her lose some weight and tan up a bit.

Bracing himself, he moved forward enough for her to catch sight of his shoes in her peripheral vision.

"(Y/n) I uh...I wanted to talk with you." Your head slowly lifted as the wind brushed back the hair from your face, his hands shoving into his pockets as you grinned brightly. The look was enough to make him flush slightly, gaze shifting down to the cobble flours as you leaned against one of the wooden pegs keeping in the clucking hens.

"Well, if it isnt Shane! What brings you to HenWay Farm? Did Marnie send you to pick up some of the goods from the animals? If she did, I got a box ready and loaded by the horse. I was going to drop it off before heading over to the mines."

"No, I just...I just wanted to talk a bit about what you said to Marnie." The look on your face shifted to concern as he looked back up awkwardly. "If you're busy I can wait-"

You reached out and grasped his arm before he could try and speak any further. When he looked down, your eyes were shining with excitement as he swallowed nervously, his stomach twisting up from the sudden touch and how close you were to him. "No, please! Come with me. I have some leftover food from lunch that I can heat it for you if you are hungry. If not, we can just talk inside the house. Much warmer with the fire then this outdoor breeze."

"Yoba, You dont have to do that, you know."

"But I want to! You're my friend, Shane, and this is your first time on the farm! What sort of host would I be if I didn't offer you at least some food?" He gave a small grin as you let go of his arm and turned, your feet already quickly striding over to the small cabin. The animals all crowded up to the corners as the two of you passed by, your arms waving through the air as you talked about the farm and how much work you've been doing lately.

Shockingly, he found himself listening carefully, the small smile staying on his face the entire time you two walked and chatted. It was nice being able to talk to someone else that wasnt in his family. Of course, he loved his family, but it was a nice change of pace from the usual things he talked about. Besides, conversations with you always felt lighthearted and carefree compared to the stress that Marnie would give him at times.

Quickly hopping up the stairs, you reached forward and threw open the door, two cats immediately jumping up onto the both of you as a dog bounded up as well. Shane gave a low gasp as you stumbled backward a bit, his arms wrapped around to steady you as the cats wrapped themselves around your legs.

You looked up at him and shyly grinned as he tried to grasp what was exactly happening. "Heh, sorry about that. Tabs and Cheeto get a bit excited when I come back home."

"Did you just say...Cheeto?" He couldn't help the chuckles from escaping him as you steadied yourself, his hands leaving your waist as you could brush yourself back off. "That's an uh...pff, that's a nice name, (Y/n)."

"Hey, he has orange fur! It made sense when I adopted him, and I love the name. He likes it as well." When you lifted the orange fuzzball, the other cat instantly started to meow at Shane, its eyes slanted as he stared down at it, confused. Cheeto curled up against your chest as you looked over at Shane and raised an eyebrow.

"What does it...want?"

"She wants you to hold her."

"..............................How do I....Do that."

"Yoba, have you never held a pet cat before? Just think of it like its a chicken or...a small...baby cow." Your nose scrunched up as you drifted off into thought, the look cute in Shane's eyes as you scratched the cat's ears. It purred loudly as you finally shook from your thoughts and glanced back at him. "Yeah, a chicken. Just grab it and lift it into your arms. She will tell you if she doesn't like what you're doing."

He went to say something more, but you had already past into the house while Tabs clawed at his jeans. When he finally managed to scramble the cat up onto his chest ((After it managed to rip at his shirt effectively-)), he slowly walked into the room and looked around as you tossed Cheeto onto the couch.

There was a large red couch with a matching armchair in front of an even bigger TV, a small fireplace next to it, and many potted plants scattered around the room. To the left was an open kitchen and table set with four chairs, but judging from the dust, it was safe to assume you only used one often. On top of the table was a porcelain tea set neatly laid out with freshly baked pastries that were still giving off steam even this late. 

With everything to do on the farm, how did you even have time to bake sweets? He wouldn't have been able to keep up with the animals, let alone an entire farm, and care for himself!

In a way, as cozy as this house seemed to be, it was the loneliest part of the farm. It reminded him a bit of his room. The only difference would be your abundance of plants and the fact your house was much cleaner then his was. 

There were also a lot fewer beer cans.

Before he could get distracted any further, he lowered the cat onto the couch while you put something into the oven and hummed a tune underneath your breath, your head bobbing to the song as he walked over. "Now that we're inside, I wanted to talk."

"Oh, right! I almost forgot. What was it you wanted to talk about? Thinking about taking my offer to go up to the mines? I could use another strong pair of arms." You gently chuckled as you settled into one of the chairs, your hands folding in front of you as he moved to sit opposite. "It's tough up there, but I can show you ropes."

"Um, No thank you. I wanted to talk about what you told Marnie about me working here during the day?"

"Oh...Right, that."

"I just...I dont understand why you would want to...help, someone like me." His voice softly trailed off as you stared confused, your eyebrows knitted together as he fiddled with his hands. There was no reason for you to help. As he thought before, he treated you like a total mother shucker and didn't deserve you treating him this nicely. You even invited him in for lunch when you certainly could've kicked him out for even trying to come onto the farm. 

Why would you want to be hospitable to a guy who hated you?

The tips of your fingers tapped against the mahogany table as he looked down at the table. A few dust particles were drifting past, and it felt like ages were passing as he just watched them float on by while listening to the click of your nails against the wood. Finally, you spoke back up. 

"You're a good guy, Shane, and I dont want to see you...sad...It hurts me when you get drunk and talk about how much Marnie has been pressuring you about everything, so when she told me about kicking you out the next time she finds you flat out drunk...Well, I had to lie. I couldn't look at her and Jaz in the face and tell them you had been going out more. I dont understand everything you're going through, and maybe I never will, but I've been through hard times, and I know how hard it is to cope...Drinking isnt the best thing, but it can be helped. It's just a way for you to numb the pain. If Marnie cant see that, then fine. But I want you to know that I know the pain you're in, and I'll do anything to help you with that if you let me."

"I...I dont..." As you smiled sadly, the words caught up in his throat and the tears forming inside his eyes already slowly falling as you reached over to grasp his hand in yours. The touch was so soft and gentle that he couldn't help but let out a shocked and choked sob. When was the last time someone said they understood? And when was the last time he believed that or believed anything a person said about his mental illness? When was the last time someone touched him this softly and just told him they were there for him, and then let him choose whether he wanted help? "I-I dont know what to say...Thank you...Thank you..."

"Of course, Shane. If you ever need anything, a place to stay, food, money, anything at all, just come to me and ill help you out—That's what friends do."

"I...I have to repay you somehow. I can't keep letting you lie because im to pathetic enough to get my life in order..." Moving his hand up, he wiped away the lone tears before they could fall any more, the sleeves of his jacket absorbing it as he sniffled slightly. "If you'll let me, ill work on the farm with you. That way it wasnt a lie that you told Marnie...I could use the exercise anyway."

You gave a light chuckle as your thumb brushed over the edges of his knuckles. "Helping out on the farm, eh? Ok, I think I can find  _ somethingggg _ for you to do.~"

"Buh, you're going to work me to death, aren't you?"

"Shane, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be too tired to even think about going to the Saloon." The two of you laughed gently as his hand turned over, your palm resting against yours before he smoothly intertwined your fingers with his. A smile shifted over your face as he looked down shyly. "You can come by whenever you're ready. I'm always available for help unless it's raining because I will more than likely be in the mines. You can join me if you like, but I wouldn't suggest it."

Looking back up, he squeezed your hand and smiled again; his eyes glimmering with joy. "I would...I would like that (Y/n)."

Maybe, just maybe, he wasnt as alone as he thought...


	2. Is This Hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little smutty, but not much happens except a bit of steAM in the shower ;) Its mainly implied of what he was gonna do but you will see in a sec.

"Well, someone seems extra chipper this morning!" The sing-song sound of Marnie's voice snapped Shane from his peaceful train of thought, the dreamy smile on his face shifting away as she set a plate in front of him. He nodded in thanks before quickly starting to eat. "You're up rather early as well. Is this because of that lovely Farmer you insist on not liking?"

"I...I dont like her. I'm a grown man. Adults dont just get...crushes on each other, especially when that person happens to be a trainwreck of a person, and the other is said train wrecks boss." He sighed and shook his head dismissively, the taste of bacon and eggs not enough to comfort his turning and twisting thoughts.

Looking away, Marnie gave her own tired sigh. The stayed silent for a while, the only sound Jaz getting up and dressed in her room and the steady clucking from next door before Marnie finally looked back at him with determination. "Shane, you know I love you-"

"I love you too, Marnie."

"Let me finish." His mouth snapped shut as she frowned. "I love you, Shane, I do...that's why I let you keep coming back to the valley after what happened with your parents and everything else. But this...this girl, she isnt something you can just push away like the other things in your life. She's a good chance for you. It isnt always you meet someone like her, and I genuinely think that deep down, past all that moodiness, you do like her."

The mention of his parents instantly had him tensing, his eyes turning away as Marnie went quiet. It was something he tried to avoid mentioning, but he knew she was right. After that day on the farm with you, he couldn't stop thinking about what you said, and maybe it wasnt just him trying to figure all of this out.

There were a few things that stuck out the most to him. First, you had mentioned understanding to some extent what mental illness was like, perhaps from personal experience or from seeing someone else. That was what struck him as odd at first. But then there were other things.

What did the hand holding mean? And the jacket? I mean, sure, you hadn't really gotten him much for his birthday, but pizza and beer were enough for him. In fact, he had considerably appreciated the gift. If he had only told you that...But back to the hand holding, when was the last time he even held someone's hand?

Jaz didn't count since...well, for obvious reasons, but besides that, it must've been years. The most realistic answer would have been High School, but that was a stretch considering he had little to no friends back then, let alone a girlfriend. Now that he thought about it, what did count as more than friend hand-holding? Because looking back with your conversation's context, it could've been you just grabbed his hand to help comfort him, nothing behind the gesture except a friendly touch to keep him from sobbing out on your kitchen table. Humiliating, but honestly, he couldn't see it as anything other than that.

"Shane? Shane, are you listening to me?" Marnie huffed out as he jumped back in confusion. Great, he was zoning out again. "I think someone is at the door, just...just think about what I said, alright?"

Shane nodded and looked back down at his plate. "Yeah...Yeah, I will."

"Good. Now, finish up your food. The Farmer probably expects you around in a couple of hours."

"Shit, I forgot about that. Right....I might go shower before I go, um...I'll finish this later." Quickly standing up, he shoved the plate back and rushed towards the small bathroom door tucked away between the main entrance and kitchen. The door had slammed shut before Marnie could even give a response to his sudden escape.

His back was pressed up against the door as he let out a small sigh and slid down a few inches, his head pressed up against the wood enough for him to hear as Marnie opened up the front door to usher in the customer. Knowing Marnie, it was more than likely Lewis coming in for his weekly 'Inspection.'

Usually, this was just the two of the chatting while pretending to be friends when everyone could see the looks in their eyes as they talked aimlessly about things that didn't matter. If it wasnt so sickening, Shane might've said something about it, but he couldn't be bothered to stand around listening to Marnie's odd flirting style.

Instead of dwelling further on that, he began the slow process of stripping down and starting up the cold shower. His thoughts were slowly drifting back to you as he tossed aside his tee-shirt into the dirty hamper. A part of him was aware thinking of your 'boss' while getting undressed was...odd, but he couldn't help himself from daydreaming about that smile on your face and the softness of your touch. Was it just him, or were you a bit handsy when he came over? First the touching his arm, the hand holding, how you gently hugged him goodbye after he got through his emotional breakdown...It all seemed like an excuse to be close to him. It was all speculation, but even just the idea that you might want to be closer to him had a blush settling over his cheeks, and that stupidly wide smile twist-up across his features.

It was sickening, his thoughts. It was filled with the memory of your smiles and whatever other cheesy, stupid, childish thing that weaved its way despite his better judgment saying to drop it. You were his boss. Not only that, but you also were not his friend nor anything further than that. There was no hope for a relationship with you. You probably just saw him as some sort of charity case, a way to seem kind-hearted while fixing up the fucked up drunk.

But he didn't want to believe any of that. He ached to think that maybe there was something more to the way you stared at him from across the bar or the street, that when you asked him to the dance on your first year that maybe you meant it, and perhaps you would've ended up dating him if he didn't shot you down so rudely. What a thought that was. You, dating him, the town screw up and failure of the county...If it wasnt so bittersweet, he would've found it funny.

The sound of conversations through the door was drowned out by the steady fall of water. It took a few seconds to reach warm enough for Shane, his hair instantly plastering against his face when it came down onto his head. He would spend most showers trying to avoid staring at himself, the body he saw disgusting and overweight but not enough to keep him from altogether avoiding washing himself.

Shane sighed out as the water rushed down his back and over his entire body soothingly. The weather was only going to get colder, which made these few heated moments so much better. Speaking of heated moments...

He drifted off into another wave of thoughts as he washed in a dose of shampoo and grabbed the obnoxious bright purple loofah hanging up near his head. The cloth was soft in his hands, the soap lathering up as he rubbed it between his palms and allowed himself to dream about your touch. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if you were touching him instead of himself—Were your hands as soft as he thought they were? Would you gently touch down his chest the same way he dragged the cloth over his own body, dipping down his front over his hips until he-

"Shane? Are you in there? Marnie said you jumped in real quick before I came." The soft sound of your voice snapped him from his thoughts, and he shook his head. Was he really....did he almost jack off to the idea of you touching him? I mean, it was clear from the throbbing hardness resting between his legs that the thought certainly crossed his mind, but the fact he was going to go through with it was...shocking.

Didn't help that you showed up seconds before he could finally relieve himself.

A part of him hoped that the door was locked if you tried to get in, but he wasnt sure if he bothered actually to close it before stripping off in his distracted state. You wouldnt...you wouldn't come in, would you? "Uh, yeah, I'm just...Buh..."

"Are you already in?"

"Yes, (Y/n), I'm not just standing around naked while the water runs in the background." He snidely responded with an eye roll. Looking back down, he silently cursed at the still hard and aching cock between his legs, so why hadn't he gotten over it when you spoke to him? If anything, you trying to get inside was a MAJOR turn off since it might mean he would get in trouble. The better half of him said to try and drop the thoughts, that talking to you while naked and hard was a horrible idea, but he couldn't help himself from slightly hoping you would get in. "Why?"

Before he could even try and wait for an answer, the door swung open and you waltzed in, the loud thud of the door banging against the wall enough to make him jump back and clutch the curtain in shock. "Just wanted to make sure you were semi-decent before I came in. If you are in the shower, it means I won't see anything!"

"YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN WHEN IM SHOWERING-"

"And yet, I did. Now hush, I need to talk to you about some things." How could you care so little about this?! There was no worry in your voice, no hesitance as you plopped down onto the sink counter and started to blather away about random things he couldn't bother to listen to. How could he? You were sitting inches away from him while he was naked, hard, and alone in the shower, just begging for you to join him.

......WAIT WHAT?!

Where had wanting you to JOIN come in to play?! Was that really what he wanted?! No, there was no way he could even DREAM of saying that to your face! You would be disgusted, revolted, horrified-

"You know, even though you said that you aren't standing around while the water runs, you sure aren't moving a lot." A small giggled followed as he flushed and quickly let go of the curtain, the fabric brushing back down against the tub as he let out a shaky breath. Thankfully, it was thick enough to hide his body, but apparently not thick enough to mask his general shape. "Anywho, as I was saying, going off how much rent is with Marnie and my established pay grade each month, I can pay you about 2,000 dollars a week. This would just be for a modest 9-5 day of work, not including any extra pay for overtime, worker's fees, and any food I would be paying for during lunches. Oh, we will be going to get food more than likely every afternoon."

"I...Yoba, 2,000....are you...s-sure?"

"...............................................Why wouldn't I be?" The genuine confusion in your voice and innocence made him chuckle. It was so cute how you didn't think about how much this meant to him.

2,000 was MUCH more then Jojo ever paid him. He would barely scrape by most weeks, rent a modest 500 bucks a month, but his pay so low that it left him only with a few bucks after. This money went to alcohol most times and on occasional days to buy food for Chalire or buy new clothes that were much needed. But 2,000 dollars? It was far more than he deserved. Even if he was working all day every day, how much work would he even be doing?

The farm was already so well maintained, and you certainly had things under control. Perhaps keeping up with the animals or collecting crops and such, but even that wasnt enough for your high salary. But on the note of that...How much DAMN MONEY DID YOU MAKE?!

As if sensing his thoughts, you slid off the counter and carefully walked over. The sound of feet moving made him stiffen in fear, but also in another way...It was humiliating to think something this small would get him riled up, but it was working either way. "I dont want you to argue with me on the pay, Shane. You deserve that much, and with the work I do, I can't give you any less. It isnt easy but it isnt hard either.

Oh, he knew something hard. Very, very, hard.

"(Y/n)..."

"I'll expect you on the farm every morning by 9. Any sooner, you get extra pay, and anything you need as far as gear, clothes, medical bills, will be covered by me." God, it was like you were his sugar mommy, but instead of sex, you were spoiling him for doing jack shit around your farm. The thought of actually being paid for sex wasnt entirely undesirable in all honesty, but he knew that wasnt what was on your mind when you hired him. But that didn't mean....it couldn't also be an added benefit...

"Y-Yes."

"...............hm, something is missing there. I think you forget a bit at the end." Leaning towards the curtain, you smirked with a taunting stare. He couldn't see it, but he could undoubtedly sense the confidence radiating off you as he tried to back up even further.

You were WAY to close for his comfort.

Awkwardly he looked back down, flinching when he saw his aching cock as you waited for his answer. You weren't asking him what he thought you were asking, right? It was humiliating. Even more so because he was standing there bare in front of you as you ordered him to call you...God, it was fucking kinky in a way.

Was that what you were trying to do? Show your dominance over him in this position, job, or otherwise? At first, he hadn't seen you as the mistress-step-on-me-and-make-me-say-you-own-me kind of girl, but at the moment, he wouldn't put it past you. It made another rush of shivers rake through his body as you cocked your head patiently.

"Y-Yes...Ma'am."

"Gooooood boy! That wasnt too hard, now was it?~" You cooed affectionately at him as he whimpered slightly. This couldn't be real. You couldn't be serious right now. 

Did you just call him a fucking GOOD BOY?! YOU _WERE_ TRYING TO TURN HIM ON! THERE WAS NO WAY YOU WERENT, NO ONE SAYS THAT SHIT TO A EMPLOYEE! Well, maybe they would, but not the way YOU said it.

This so wasnt fair. Shane was aching to touch himself, but he knew that you would notice his movement and more than likely call him out on it if he tried to. But on the other hand....would you care? You could very well see whether he was moving or not, so you probably had noticed how damn hard he was and how your teasing was affecting him. Thank god you hadn't pulled the curtain back, but even then, this was still hell.

He was stuck cornered, aching, begging you to do SOMETHING to ease his pain or help him. You had to know what this was doing to him. You just had to see how damn sinful you were being with just that one damn sentence...

"Well, ill let you finish up with your shower!" Pulling away from the shower, you chuckled lightly, hand moving up to rake through your hair. "I'll see you in a few hours! We have a lot of work to do, and I still need to show you the other half of the farm. So dont spend toooooo much time standing around doing...'nothing,' in the shower."

Why had you said _ nothing  _ like that? Did you know what he was going to do once you were gone? Somehow that was the most humiliating out of all of this because you were right. He  _ was _ going to jack himself off to the thought of you ((Or at least, what you would do to him)) and he then would come by the farm with the knowledge that he did something so crude while working under you: his boss, his neighbor, his....friend. 

His friend.....

God, he was pathetic....Getting off over something so silly as you making him call you Ma'am or touching his arm. What was he? A teenager? He thought his hormones would be more in check due to his age, but NOPE, he was still wanking off in the shower because his crush said hello to him...

The thought was dragged away from him as you carefully shut the door and walked off, the only sound now to accompany him was the water splashing down against the bath's porcelain floor and the pipes working overtime to rush out hot water. Quickly he went back to washing himself, the shame still filling his very veins as he carefully moved the loofa over his body. He made sure to go around his cock. There wasnt enough time for him to get off thoroughly, and it was just easier for him to ignore it until he had a moment to himself.

When would that be, though? The walls were much to thin here to enjoy himself, but there wasnt anywhere else to go...

Well....

There was one place........


	3. Feelings? I Think Fucking NOT-

  
Things To Do Today:

-Feed Chickens  
-Collect Apples ((Basket is by the Red shed near the orchards))  
-Milk Cows/Goats  
-Pick Up Any Stray Logs From The Storm

"....That's...it?" Shane glanced up from the list to aimlessly stare at your front door in confusion. Instead of being welcomed by your excited face, there was a list taped to the door handle and a small note explaining that there was an emergency with Pam you needed to attend to. What could be going on with Pam that involved you was a mystery, but he would ask questions later. Along with the shortlist was a key to your house so he could enter and make himself at home or use the bathroom.

Focusing back on the list, he couldn't believe that  _ this _ was all you wanted him to do today. I mean, you were paying him a salary well worth full-time hard labor, not just picking apples or feeding a few chickens.

Pocketing the list, Shane huffed slightly. On the bright side, he would be able to explore the farm some more and crash out on your couch once work was finished. Would that be weird, though? Just coming home to find Shane lazily lying with your fifty cats? Surely you wouldn't have told him it was ok if you didn't mean it...

God, why did there have to be so much doubt in his head?

The first thing to do was to feed the chickens. You explained yesterday that one of the chickens, a jet black one named Shadow, was the most troublesome. Apparently, he was known to sneak out during feeding time and run around bugging the dogs and cats until you caught him or was lured back in with corn. In Shanes's mind, it didn't seem like too much of a daunting task. 

It was just a chicken, after all...

Right?

((EXACTLY TEN MINUTES AND 35 SECONDS LATER))

"GET BACK IN YOUR GOD DAMN PEN!!" 

"BAWK!" 

The other animals watched as Shane huffed and jogged after the ruffled up chicken, his eyes blazing with anger while Shadow clucked loudly in protest. How could something so big be SO hard to catch?! This was more exercise than Shane had gotten over the past five years, and BOY was he not happy about it.

Finally, after a few more moments, his legs gave out, and he collapsed against one of the log benches scattered around the farm. While on his wild chicken chase, he found himself near the large apple trees, the sweet scent of fruits and juice filling his nostrils as the air finally returned to his overused lungs. Maybe this was why you were paying him so much. That damn hellspawn of a chicken must be the cause of at least HALF his paycheck.

As the sun warmed up Shane's sweaty skin, Shadow slowly inched up to peck at his fingers while Shane silently shut his eyes. The chicken seemed to feel guilty for the chase; clearly, this man wasnt as fit as its owner. Carefully, Shadow jumped up onto his lap with an angry chirp as Shane glanced down with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh, now you wanna cooperate-"

"I see you managed to get Shadow to sit in your lap. He normally doesn't let people hold him unless you got an ear of corn in your back pocket." The lulling sound of your voice made him jump up in shock, Shane's hands flying to grip at the chicken as it clucked happily from seeing you. They both watched as you ducked out from around one of the trees with a grin. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

A few sticks were stuck in your hair as you crouched down to pet Shadow along the back of his neck. "It's....uh, it's fine."

"Did you give our guest trouble? You shouldn't make our friends run around just so you can get treats, you know." Even after saying that, you pulled out a small baggy full of watermelon sliced up into squares. At the sight of the bright red fruit, Shadow hopped out of Shanes's lap to follow you back to the pen.

The two of you left for a few moments while Shane tried to collect his composure. Over his entire face, there was a dark flush and thin layer of sweat from running that dripped down over his hair. Even with the cold weather, it seemed to be blazing hot, but the increasing wind helped cool down his sense. 

The wind had shifted back to normal by the time you walked back up. Each gust made strands of your hair fall from your top tied knot, the sticks still lodged in as you shook your head with a grin. "That darn thing is going to be the death of me. Sometimes I think a witch cursed one of my eggs."

"Buh, wouldn't be surprised."

"Sorry I wasnt here when you arrived, by the way. Had to help Pam and Penny with this little side project I've been working on." Shane looked confused as you grinned. "I'll explain it later. But for now, what else do you have to do?"

The color left his face when it suddenly dawned that he was just chasing the chicken and not doing anything else during this entire time. As if you could read his mind, you broke out into laughter while he frantically tried to come up with an excuse.

When you finally managed to calm down, you looked up and stared him in the eyes, your hands resting atop the bench as he leaned back slightly. The proximity made him nervous as you cocked your head. "It's okay. I didn't expect much to go down on your first day. Might as well have a bit of fun for your first day!"

"I wouldn't say it was....fun..."

"Well, either way, just get the list done before 5...." You paused in confusion as he stared at your hair. "Something wrong?"

Carefully reaching forward, the tips of his fingers slowly brushed up against the stick before pulling it out. The small piece of wood made you go deadpanned as he snickered. "You've got twigs in your hair."

"......."

"Are you starting a new trend? Maybe I should join you. I could use a makeover." Another snicker escaped when you angrily huffed. "C'mere, I'll get them out for you."

Before you could protest, he yanked you forward, knees spread, so you were straddling over his hips while leaning closer. It was a more than an intimate position to be in, and the oblivious look on his face only made you feel more embarrassed at the thoughts rushing through your overthinking brain.

I mean, sure, you had made a flirty quip when he was in the shower that wasnt exactly Boss and Worker appropriate, but... But that was different! It was just a joke, if anything! Was it really a joke if, deep down, you wanted it to be more than a joke? You didn't know him very well yet, but the way he tenderly was touching your hair had butterflies choking your mind, tongue twisted, and heart fluttering.

Oddly enough, though, this wasnt embarrassing for Shane. 

But maybe that was because the more sensitive parts of him were taking over. The part that really did want to open up, to be gentle, to be more than just a drunken mess who yelled at everyone. It wasnt often Shane opened this nice side to people, but with you, he felt...calm...safe...A feeling he didn't think anyone could give him.

In the darker parts of his mind, the nagging doubt tried to seep forward, but he pushed it back. This moment was too good to try and ruin, to perfect for that doubt to twist up into something else. Later, no doubt, the insecurities would make the entire experience into something other than what it was, and Shane would be lying in bed wondering what all this meant.

But right now?

Right now, all that mattered was the gentle pressure of you in his lap. All that mattered was that adorable flush in your cheeks, the way you gripped his shoulders tightly before slowly loosening into his hold, how your eyes fluttered close at the comforting touches.

With every shaky breathe you gave, Shane carefully detangled each stick and leaf, the touches so soft and gentle, each small tangle smoothly falling out as if it was silk while you blushed deeply. The look was engraved into his mind for later when the clock would read 3 am, and he was looking for reasons to keep going.

After a few minutes ((Felt like hours)), the last twig fell into the small pile next to the bench, your hands steadily holding onto his shoulders while Shane tucked back the erratic hairs into place. "Yoba, Do I even want to know what you were doing to get  _ this _ many twigs into your hair?"

"I-I...I thought I saw a squirrel..."

"and?"

"......................." Quietly looking down, you pouted. "I tried to feed it, but it kept running away, so I tried to chase it up a tree."

The moment was instantly shattered by his loud laughter and your angry pouting. Whatever intimate shared glances were replaced with a more genuine light-hearted tone, his forehead buried in your shoulder as you wrapped both arms around the broadness of his shoulders. The laughs made his body bounce slightly, each one resounding deep inside his chest to the point where you could feel it with how close the two of you were.

Sure, it was a stupid reason to get all dirty and roughed up, but if climbing up trees got Shane to laugh this loudly, to smile that brightly......

You would do it again in a heartbeat.


	4. You Cant Fix Whats Already Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanted to dip into the more realistic sides of alcohol addiction, because its not something that just goes away in a day or because you get a gf. He has such bad mental illness and I really want to show him improving over the course of the book, but you cant improve if you dont show the lows as well.
> 
> Ill have a fluffy ((And maybe a little smutty??)) Chapter up soon!

Considering what just happened, Shane wasnt feeling too bad.

Sure, he was still a bit jittery after the entire Sitting-You-On-His-Lap thing, and yes, he spent the next 20 minutes silently picking apples while avoiding eye contact with that cute blush atop his scruffy cheeks, but it could've been worse.

It didn't seem like you were mad in any way. That had been his biggest worry, that you would get angry at the sudden affection or tell him that it was much too far for friends. What friend pulls you into their lap to tenderly hold you for a few moments? Not a friend who hired you as a worker, il tell you that much.

It wasnt until he was bringing back one of the baskets that a conversation finally started. You were carefully setting a few apples into the pickup bin that Lewis would come to in the night while also arranging a few in smaller, more personal baskets with other fruits and cheeses and such.

"What's with the baskets? Got a party or something you're going to?" Shane carefully asked, the giant tub of apples thudding down beside you as he set it down.

Glancing up with a smile, you carefully set down one of the small bags of dried and candied fruits. "Just making a few gift baskets for the town."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because it's.....nice?" The question seemed to catch you off guard as Shane cocked an eyebrow. The inquisitive look was quite cute, the way his nose scrunched up and a small indent down towards the edge of his mouth into a tiny frown. All of it made you want to squeal or pinch his cheeks. Instead, you awkwardly cleared away the thoughts with a subtle cough. "It's just some stuff I had extra. It's been a good harvest this year, and the cows have been doubling up on their production. Theirs enough to make a few gifts while still selling crops to make a profit."

Well, Shane certainly knew you were making a profit with how much you paid him.

That was another curious thing. How come you lived so modestly? The house was a one-bedroom and bathroom, but Robin could've offered a much larger upgrade. Time had worn down everything inside the house with use, more rustic than new, and the edges all chipped away. Was it just personal humbleness? Modest living out of pure choice?

Living like that by choice seemed like a foreign concept to Shane. He lived modestly because that's all there was to life. There wasnt a choice to live better in luxury, but it wasn't all bad. It wasnt like Shane was some egotistical bastard who demanded gold statues be made in his honor just to feel powerful. Shane had everything he needed, so there was no point wasting all that money on things he would never use.

But there had to be more things that would benefit your farm life. The equipment was relatively new, but it wasnt top grade or the best on the market. Most of the pathways needed prepping for the winter, the animal's homes needed proper heating, and there were a million other things just off the top of Shanes's head. Maybe that was part of the job? Prepping for winter?

Quietly he settled onto the ground beside the ever-growing baskets. One caught his eyes, and he reached over to tug it closer.

"You made one for Marnie?"

The question made your eyes snap to the side, slight blush flickering imperceptibly. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? I try and make a few gifts for everyone in town. Last I checked, Marnie does live here." 

"I dont know, just kinda figured....nothing," Shane mumbled.

A part of you wanted to press further, to find out what exactly he was thinking or feeling or anything going on in that head. Sure, he had opened up the night you gave him the job, but since then, he had clammed up about the entire thing. Did it matter to him? Was your anxiety getting the best of YOU?

How the turntables.

Silently wrapping a few ribbons atop the whicker, peacefulness rested over the farm. Shane settled just to watch you with silent admiration, and you focused on prettying up the various gifts with a pouted-out lip. The ribbons were all custom painted with different designs to match each of the owners. 

Shane tried to guess each one, his hands watching as you carefully wrapped, tugged, and fluffed the material. Wood had to be for Robin. Tiny seashells for Elliot. Fishes for Willy. A golden...statue?? Who was that fo-

The question was cut off by you finally standing up. Your hands came to rest atop your hips, eyes flickering around before finally settling atop one small basket in the corner. As if to read your mind, Shane grabbed the basket and stared into it. "Whos this one for?

"I was hoping maybe you could....guess." 

"Guess? Why would I do that?" Even with the questioning stare, he examed closely, the whicker giving a gentle crunch if moved too far to the side or applied with pressure. It had a blue ribbon and tiny chicks painted on it, the edges slightly torn but for a style choice, not because you were lazy. Inside the baskets was an assortment of the same things in the others, apples, eggs, what looked to be a small black tee shirt with something printed on it.

In the bottom were a few small bottles of watermelon and sparkling orange water. They were the kind addicts used to wean off alcohol, a good substitute but by no means a cold turkey escape. 

It involved work.

He should've been thankful. This wasnt an easy-to-make gift, and it clearly had meaning....but Shane couldn't help but look at you with a slight distaste. No addict likes to be told their being fixed, or changed, or told they need to give up their lifestyle. It wasnt like Marnie or the others in town hadn't already tried. Lewis ordered Gus to stop selling him beers ((Thanks, Marnie's new boyfriend, funny how you judge me when I know what you did-)) but we all know Shane made most of Gus's income. 

Marnie deep cleaned his room—Shane made it dirty.

Marnie forbids any drinking in the house—Shane drank in the backyard or with the chickens.

Marnie threatened to kick him out— EX right now.

None of it  _ worked _ .

They couldn't  _ fix _ him, so why even try?

Silently Shane set the basket back down with a cold stare. How could you say you understood and then try to change him? Was this just some pity case? Oh yeah, look at this. The new farmer is fucking around with the town drunk so that she can feel good about herself. Watch as he fumbles around, thinking he maybe had a chance with a girl, but nope, just some charity case.

Cheers to that.

That wasnt like you, but he was angry with himself, so he was mad at you. Betrayal stung more than being angry did. It was easier.

So instead of lingering around those pitying eyes or that worried expression, he decided to leave. Shane didn't need someone to worry, to care, to make him better. He didn't NEED anyone.

"Shane, are you o-"

"I'm finished for the day." He snapped back shortly, head tilted down and hair covering tearing up eyes. Great, crying AGAIN. This was the last thing he needed. It was just more reason for people to feel bad for the broken drunkard, and the last thing Shane wanted was more people pitying him.

The coldness had your body tensing and jaw setting tightly. Somehow, You had hurt Shanes feelings, which meant it was your job to fix whatever you did. But there wasnt time for that at the moment. There were too many emotions swirling in his head, and if you pushed...he might say something he doesn't mean. It wasnt who Shane was, but pain can be a bitch about these sorts of things.

That's what history had shown, after all.

Instead, you steeled yourself and nodded even if he couldn't see. Shane must've sensed it ((Or grew too tired of standing there in silence)) because he turned with a cold shudder and silent sadness growing. Did he want you to fight for him to stay? Or just to leave his mind be? Why did feelings have to be so damn hard? Why couldn't it just be liner?

It wasnt just, "I feel hurt, and I want you to leave me alone," Or "Hey, I actually have a deep liking for you, so maybe try and convince me not to leave." Instead, there was the doubt, this hatred for himself that could only mean you felt it as well. There never could be an everyday thought or conversation in his mind. HE never could be normal.

So when the door to his bedroom swung open, and he finished flinging off that stupid jacket you gave him, the realization of what needed to be done dawned onto Shane. There was no possibility of a future of happiness and joy or whatever bullshit promised if he quit drinking. In the end, he was going to die alone, drunk, and probably too young to have really lived.

The thought of dying, that imminent doom leaning over just so teasingly, had Shane nausea enough to curl up and slap a hand over his mouth. Dont throw up, dont throw up, dont throw u-

The shakiness in his knees finally met their goal, and he collapsed by the bed, head slamming down against the side table while reaching for a nearby trash can. Pain seared as what little food he ate today came out in a gross mush. It was more of a dry heave, which made his throat hurt even more, and a dull throb start deep down in the back of his head.

Shane hated throwing up. It wasnt just a sign of weakness, the aftermath of severe drinking and pitying himself all night, but it also hurt like hell. There wasnt enough to throw up, so it was just painful dry heaving while laying there on the floor in pain. 

Weak.

Pathetic.

Hopeless....

Resting on the bedside table, he tried to steady the shallow breaths that escaped quickly. The surface was cool against Shanes's heated forehead, the wood digging in but not as painful as what was to come. Would drinking make things worse?... That's stupid. Of course it would, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do it any way.

Because Shane felt hopeless, and no amount of fake affection would change that.


	5. Its Funny How My Past Matches Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet You WErENT ExpECTINg tHIS-

_ The Summer of 20XX _

_ "We're worried about you. This isnt healthy! You're going to kill yourself-" _

_ "I told you before that I'm FINE!" _

_ "YOU'RE ADDICTED!" Turning angrily, you watched as your mother glared with spite. All along the floor were scattered beer bottles mixed in with whiskey, vodka, and whatever else could be cheaply bought off of a Joja salary. The table had bills stacked up, red letters so blaringingly red that it hurt your already pounding head."How do you think your father feels seeing you like this?!" _

_ A glass fell and shattered when you stumbled forward, hands blindly feeling along the wall towards the bathroom. "If Dads s-so worried, he would...be here.." _

_ The door flung open, and you collapsed by the toilet, head resting on the proclien bowl while your mother stepped inside. It wasnt exactly clean but not filthy enough to be completely unpresentable, not that it mattered anyway. No one came over anymore. _

_ Quietly leaning down, she helped lift your hair, tears streaming down your face as you started to choke silently. There was a softness when she rubbed over your back, urging you to finally purge the alcohol out, to get rid of the poison. But it never came...You just sat there, hair held back while sobbing tiredly.  _

_ Everything made you tired. The smallest of assignments at work had you close to breaking down, your head pounding and tears forming almost instantly. What happened to the happy worker before? It wasnt the best job, but it never brought you to tears or had you breaking down in the employee bathrooms when you finally got a break. The stress had only been building as Grandpa got sicker. You knew that from the moment your mother told you he would not survive over the summer. _

_ Maybe this was just your way of forgetting, of pretending that things were still okay. It was fine, there was nothing wrong. What possibly could go wrong in your life that hadn't already? _

_ There was no way you could bring it up to your parents. They already had to deal with your mothers' father dying. All this did was add more to the list of problems slowly building up. _

_ Did they cope like you did? Drink until the pain hurts just a little less? Go out and see random people in hopes that maybe they could fill that empty spot in your heart? It was hard to imagine them breaking down or showing real hurt. Even at the funeral, your father was strong, gaze straight head and silent as ever while your mother quietly sobbed. It was hard on them both and everyone else in the family. _

_ But you? _

_ You didn't even show up. _

_ Pushing away from the thoughts, the room finally seemed to stop spinning enough for reality to rush back in. Soberness was horrible as it is, but sober after a full-fledged breakdown was even worse. "I...I'm not...I'm not addicted...." _

_ "Then stop." _

_ "You know I cant-" _

_ "You said you weren't addicted." She snapped back with a harsh glare. "Addicts can't stop, but if you aren't one, then you will. I saw the bills on the table...you'll get kicked out if you dont start paying them instead of...of..." _

_ "Of burying myself in alcohol? It isnt that god damn EASY. I cant FIX myself, and maybe you should realize that you, of all people, can't either." The words stung just to say, let alone to say to someone who meant so much. All those things unsaid were so close to bubbling out that you had to force your head back down just to stop them.  _

_ The weight of the world was on your shoulders. How could she tell you just to stop? Didn't she understand what this was all for? At least when drunk, you couldn't remember who you were, your past, or anything about you. It was too hard to remember what it felt like to live. It was too hard to remember what life was when you were happy. How could you face anyone with that weight leering close behind? _

_ How can someone fix you when you didn't even know who you were? _

_ The hands left your hair and back, her shoes the only sound left before the door slammed shut. It wasnt like you hadn't tried to be perfect for her. You didn't want to hurt her, but it was beyond you to carry the weight of everything in her life. There was too much stress, too much pain, and not enough drinks to make you who they wanted. You would NEVER be the daughter they wanted... _

_ "I...I'm sorry, mom...I'm so sorry-" _

_ ________________________________________________________ _

_ ((Two Weeks Later)) _

_ The lights stung, and the music blared too loudly. How could anyone focus with all this noise? It was so overwhelming. _

_ That didn't matter because you were too busy chugging down drinks and eyeing up a few dancers on the floor with a spinning head. It was a shock that the alcohol didn't come up in the ugliest way, but you were silently grateful for the lack of nausea thus far. No one wants to talk to the chick who throws up after a few drinks. _

_ A hand slowly traced along your arm, the fingernails painted a dark black as they came to rest just above your dress strap before slowly moving back down. It would've been odd if the drinks didn't so utterly ruin you. Instead, you looked up at the stranger and grinned at the face you saw before you. _

_ "I dont think I've seen you around this part of town. I would've remembered that face." The purr in your voice was much more confident than normal, more alluring, and less depressed than usual. It had the man raise an eyebrow in interest and lean closer so you could talk directly into his ear without the music interrupting. "My names (y/n)." _

_ "That's a beautiful name, (y/n)." _

_ "It was a gift." _

_ "Not the only thing you were gifted with." Oh, he was good. _

_ As if you sensed how much of a sweet talker he was, another grin passed over his somber face. A few strands of black hair covered his pretty eyes, so you leaned forward and brushed them back. The touch seemed to make to send a shiver through him as you smiled sweetly. How cute. "So, what brings you to my little corner in the bar?" _

_ "A guy cant just buy a drink in good company?" _

_ "Mm, I never said that. You just dont seem the type to beat around the bush." The bluntness had another chuckle escape his ashen lips. God, they looked delicious. "If you are about to ask how much I charge, I will kick you where the sun dont shine." _

_ The lights shifted to a dark blue as he leaned against the counter, hand waving out to the bartender for another refill. Two glasses slid down right in between you, both filled with strong whiskey. "You make me seem ungentlemanly, M'lady. I would never dream of disrespecting such a lovely maiden."  _

_ "Well, my humble knight, then what is it you wish to get from me?" _

_ "A good evening, I suppose. Maybe a dance or two if you so wish to with this lowly knight." The drink burned as you sipped it softly, gaze shifting to watch as the alcohol slid down his throat. He hadn't even said his name, yet you were genuinely interested in this guy.  _

_ Who knew what might happen? Maybe he could be more than a hook-up, perhaps even as far as a friend with benefits. The thought wasnt horrible but still not one you were used to. "I dont think I said my name, did I?" _

_ "I figured you were too mysterious for that. A random stranger shows up in the city, buys some girl a drink, and charms her without even dropping a name. Very dark." You mumbled into the glass with a smile. _

_ "My names Sebastion." _

_ "Nice to meet you, Sebby." _

_ ____________________________________________________- _

_ You had made mistakes. _

_ So many mistakes. _

_ Now, you wouldn't say that waking up very much so not alone in your bed was the bad thing, it was the fact this WASNT your bed, and you DEFINITELY weren't in your house. Where the hell was this?? _

_ The arm around your waist shifted slightly, body moving closer as you tried to look around the room confused. Hungover or not, it was hard to see in the dark, and there seemed to be no windows along the walls. Was this underground?? Was the hot emo boy you met some insane murderer who kidnapped you as a slave?!? _

_ No, this guy wasnt like this. I mean, halfway through drinking, he started talking about his home life, and you instantly liked him. Dungeon master ((He was embarrassed until you fessed up to playing way back when.)) Coder part-time, hell, he was even writing his own fantasy book. A total nerd, but with the buff emo-ness shoved into the perfect package. Not to mention he had a PERFECT packag- _

_ "Hey, you awake?" The grogginess was so damn sexy that any hope of responding escaped. Instead, you slowly rolled around and stared up at those dark eyes with a shy smile that he returned lazily. "Cool. Sleep well?" _

_ "I didn't get much sleep, but it was nice."  _

_ "I'm sorry for keeping you up so late, M'lady."  _

_ "Very ungentlemen like. Then again..." You rolled over to straddle Sebastian's lap with a wicked grin. "I dont think I want you to be a gentleman." _

_ Another grin that had your heart pounding as he leaned up slowly. There was this dark glare inside those filthily gorgeous eyes, the kind that girls dreamed about at night, the kind that could make any girl ((Or guy)) fall in love instantly. Was that what you felt? No, that was stupid. Feelings weren't what this was about.  _

_ It was just two adults getting rid of stress in a way that wasnt unhealthy. This was only to distract you from your past, to forget about your mother's angry stare and the lack of calls from friends or loved ones. This was a way to save you from that. _

_ A thumb came up to wipe away some lipstick smeared around your mouth from last night's kissing. It was embarrassing considering you were more than likely a mess, but it only had Seb smiling brightly. "I would love to honor my princess with his request, but I got work in a few, and I want to shower first. Join me?" _

_ "You trust me not to distract you while we shower? You must not know me as well as I thought." The retort came quickly as you moved off his hips and stretched tiredly, back crack and limbs slowly waking up. Quietly leaning over, he kissed your cheek with a sigh. "Do you have to work? Cant, you take the day off-" _

_ "Sebastian!! Sorry, we're early, but I wanted to show you my new guitar riff. I'm coming in-" _

_ "WAIT NO!" Sebastian threw the blanket over your face quickly in embarrassment as you laughed loudly. A short silence passed as the two walked in and stopped in their tracks, eyes flickered between their very naked friend and the outline of some random woman inside his bed. Sam grinned while Ab rolled her eyes at the stupidness of this. "u-uh hey guys? Can I get a minute??" _

_ Abigal plopped down onto the couch and gave a short smirk. "Why, you hiding something?" _

_ "Yeah, you aren't hiding anything from your best friends, are you?" Sam chided in as he walked closer slowly. "Why dont you lift those blankets, man? It looks like someone got a new body pillow-" _

_ "GET OUT!"  _

_ "ADMIT YOU GOT SOME FIRST!" _

_ "I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH-" Before long, the door was slammed shut, Sebastion panting angrily next to you as the blanket finally slipped away enough to look up. Eyes connecting, he slowly calmed down and gave an apologetic look.  _

_ Quietly you sat back up, blankets falling from your chest as you glanced around in the now bright room. The walls were covered in posters and notes of codes. A small computer set up in one corner with the bed across from it. Another old couch was by the door and right in front of it was a table with a roleplaying game set up.  _

_ Papers were scattered around it, character sheets, inventories, and a storyline that Sebby had quickly scribbled down. It was a cute room, very college boy-like. _

_ Which, you know, made sense with his age and all. _

_ When you glanced back, he was staring at your chest in silent admiration before you snapped your fingers. "Huh?" _

_ "We going to shower or what? I dont think your friends will be waiting around long." _

_ "Oh uh...Yeah! Yeah, let's go." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOLD CHA.


	6. Lets See You Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter set from the past, but dont worry we will get back to the story soon.

_**Sir Sebby** : You got plans for tonight?_

_**Princess (Y/n** ): Actually, I do. _

_**Sir Sebby** : Damn._

_**Princess (Y/n)** : Sorry, I would love to hang out but my mom got me in with some therapist. Supposed to help with the drinking._

_**Sir Sebby** : Do you think he will give you any meds?_

_**Princess (Y/n)** : Maybe. What did you say you were on btw? We might get the same stuff._

_**Sir Sebby** : Just the basics. Zoloft, Prozac, tried em all. I'm taking Prozac rn tho for the depression._

_**Princess (Y/n)** : Cool._

_**Sir Sebby** : Cool._

_"(Y/n) (L/n)? The doctor will see you now." The chat bar flickered with a new message, whatever Seb had to say would have to wait till after the appointment. There was nothing worse than having a bad impression on your new therapist...well, there was a lot worse but you get the point. The woman working at the front pointed over at a door and clicked a button, a small buzz going off before it released. "Just go down the hall and to the left. Last door."_

_"Thanks."_

_"I heard of this guy before. Works in some small town up in the valley." Another Patreon whispered as you passed by. "I wonder why he's up in Zuzu city?"_

_"Probably not enough work." The other girl nodded at her friend's response._

_The door shut and cut off the rest of the conversation. Did they mean your doctor? Your mom mentioned he was a family friend, but in what way you didn't know. Did he do therapy for your parents? Did they even GO to therapy? Not like that was a bad thing, just unexpected. Their marriage was always built upon trust and respect, whether they loved each other you didn't know, but they made work. Sometimes it was better to keep feelings out of things._

_There weren't that many doors in the small hallway, maybe three to your right, and then it branched into two at the tip. The left was ajar ever so slight, a flash of brown hair passing by as the doctor paced around quietly. He seemed to be mumbling something about his notes and needing to get back home to some nurse. They must've had another hospital down in the valley._

_Pushing it open you walked through as silent as possible. Sadly, that didn't matter, because you ran straight into the poor man and made him stumble back in shock. "YobA!"_

_"Gah! I'm so sorry!" The stack of notes fluttered down to the floor and you dropped down to grab them, his hands the only thing in your line of sight as he helped pick them up. A lot of the words were unreadable due to his handwriting, sloppy and loopy but with a certain chaoticness that seemed organized._

_There was no doubt he could read them back perfectly, but you struggled to make out the words as you straightened them out._

_Finally looking up you gave a shaky smile. His head was still down but you could see wispy brown hair, the edges curling up slightly in a tousled way. It was kind of like bedhead but with a small bit of gel styled up inside just to give it more of tameness that didn't seem to quite work. After a few moments, he looked up, green eyes gazing behind a pair of thick black glasses, and a small smile crossing over his face behind a thick mustache._

_"It's quite alright, I should've been...looking around at where I was um...Pacing..." His voice was nervous as you stood up and offered a hand._

_"My names Harvey, ill be your therapist for today."_

_"Yeah, mom mentioned you were a family friend of hers."_

_"Did she?" He perked up and smiled goofily. "That's very nice of her."_

_How could this guy even be a doctor? He was too....soft. This wasnt gonna be easy, therapy had never been easy growing up but Harvey didn't look like he wanted to dig into the deep stuff. Just nod along and agree and this would be done before you could even take a shot of vodka from your very well hidden flask._

_Well, it would've been well hidden had it not fallen from your pocket when the two of you bumped together._

_You were the first to notice the lack of weight in your pockets, then the absence of cold metal when your hand shoved into it. Sadly Harvey was the first to see the flask on the floor, his gaze turning upset as you snatched it up. "Er, so uh...where do we start?"_

_"Was that a flask, (Y/n)?"_

_"............If I say no would you believe me?"_

_".......no, I wouldn't."_

_"It's uh, water." You cringed at the poor excuse._

_Harvey cocked an eyebrow and put a hand out towards you. "Then you wouldn't mind me having this until you finish for today."_

_Oh great, this guy actually wants to try and help. It shouldn't have been such a surprise but you were still shocked at the sternness in his voice. Was that coming from the man in front of you? I mean come on, he was in a god damn green sweater. Who would be scared of that?_

_Just for the sake of humoring him ((And proving you WERENT addicted)) you tossed the flask with a low sigh. It was the same sound a pouty teen who had to give up their phone would make, and Harvey gave the same look of slight disappointment a more sheepish parent would give. Next, you stripped out of the leather jacket to hang it up before plopping onto the brown chair towards the corner, Harvey's chair across from you, and his desk close by. The angle gave a perfect view of the outside garden, overgrown slightly with weeds and invading flowers that created an overgrown aura. It wasnt unpleasant, but the urge to pick those weeds and tidy up the area was growing quickly._

_It made you think of the farm, of those summers spent on it helping grandpa pick flowers for the kitchen table and giving apples to neighbors. It was so long ago that the faces were just blurred, but the feeling never faded away._

_No matter what you did._

_Harvey sat down onto the seat and stared directly into your eyes, head cocked to the side waiting for you to speak first. What could you even say? 'Sorry for bugging you doc, but I'm just here cause my mom doesn't understand my life' or 'Hey, you seem nice and all, but you can't fix me or try and change things. Unless you can bring back grandpa I want my flask back.'_

_No, none of that would work. Instead, you looked over into his eyes, your lips turning into a slight frown as the silence continued to linger unwelcomly. After about 5 minutes of silent staring, he sighed deeply. "Your mother mentioned that you've been...having a hard time lately."_

_".............."_

_"I'm not here to take sides, (Y/n). I just want to hear how you've been feeling lately."_

_"..............................."_

_".........................(Y/n) you have to talk at some point..." He gave another distressed look as you crossed your arms defiantly. This wasnt working, but Harvey wasnt a therapist for nothing._

_Silently watching you, he pulled out the flask and carefully turned it around in his slender hands. It was a challenge to keep your eyes trained onto his without looking at the container, but you managed to keep yourself focused for a solid few seconds before you finally cut in. "What are you trying to do."_

_"I'm not trying to do anything."_

_"You're touching my stuff."_

_"You weren't talking." Harvey smiled softly as you rolled your eyes. "This metal is very nice. Did someone give you this?"_

_The question made your jaw set tightly, eyes moving away to the windows again and words dying out. It was the response he wanted and you both knew it. Somehow that only made you angrier at him, all you wanted to do was go home and forget all about this and drunk text Seb like you always do. He didn't try and fix you. At most you to shared your hatred for parents thinking they know best, he understood what it was like._

_But this guy? He was pushing your buttons in such a way that you knew came from years of schooling._

_More silence followed save for the clock slowly ticking. Had it only been ten minutes? God, this hour couldn't end quicker._

_Harvey looked back down and carefully traced the pattern carved in the front with delicate fingers before the top slowly started to unscrew off. The sound made you snap back and reach forward. "Dont open that!"_

_"It's just water, what's the big deal." He shrugged and moved farther away._

_"That was bullshit and you knew it! Just stop touching it!"_

_"You never told me who gave it to you, ill set it down if you agree to talk."_

_This was a stupid deal. It was YOUR property, he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. There had to be some law against this or something...There was no point in trying now though, all you could do was watch pathetically and nod to his rules. This wasnt a conversation, it was an order. He would make you open up, break you down, then rummage around the parts until he found what was needed._

_It sounded sick but in reality that was far from what he planned to do._

_Of course, all you could do was blame him for things. It wasnt his fault anything that happened today happened, but he was annoying you further, and pushing anger onto people is easier than admitting you were the one who caused all of this. If you had just been careful, if you walked in one second later, if you talked from the start instead of pouting. If, if, if._

_The flask gave a low thud when he set it down, the content inside swishing around as you closed your eyes. Mentally, you pictured chugging the entire thing once this meeting was over, tipping your head back, and drinking the entire thing before calling a Uber to take you back home. Maybe Seb would ride out to your apartment, had you cleaned this morning? Did it even matter? Not like you two would be anywhere but the bedroom, but it still would be nice to have it look like you were a functioning human being sometimes._

_Your list of things to do was cut off by Harvey clearing his throat lowly._

_"A friend."_

_"Were you two close?"_

_"He got me a custom-made flask for my 21st birthday, what do you think." You snapped angrily. The response didn't phase Harvey, the burning anger only dimming as you shut your eyes again. "He...made it himself."_

_Harvey slowly reached for a notebook and started to scribble down something. You wondered if it would be as unreadable as the other ones._

_"That sounds pretty difficult."_

_"When we would come over, he would have tons of metals and minerals around the house. Going to the mines at his age was dangerous, but he insisted upon it. Said that no monster would stop from getting his girls gifts."_

_"He sounded like a sweet man. Did you visit him often?"_

_The memories trickled in as you slowly sunk further. Within minutes the tears would come, they would fall down your cheeks and this stupid doctor would see you break down just like he wanted. But what was the point in fighting it? There was no way you could get through all these meetings without talking about the past. Might as well get it done with and then prove that you didn't need help either way._

_With a new plan set in stone, you leaned up and opened your eyes, your mind set on letting all its sadness and memories rush out in a tsunami._

_Does Harvey think he can fix you?_

_Let's see him try-_


	7. THIS ISNT WEIRD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter isnt that good grammar wise, my Grammarly premium just ran out and I havent had the time to pay it yet but il get on that soon! Ill probaly repost this editted correctly but ill get to that later. For now, enjoy!

  
Shane wished he could say that things got better. That instead of sitting around all mopey-like, he went over to apologize and explain why things ended the way they did. It couldn't be too hard, after all. 

  
  
After getting thoroughly drunk ((and barely passing as Sober in front of Marnie)), he finally had time to think over what happened. Being snappy and leaving wouldn't make things any better. You hadn't even said anything. You could've been giving those drinks just cause you made them; it wasnt like his basket was the only one with bottles in it, so why had it hurt so much imagining you implying that? Why did it matter if you did try and fix him? Maybe it was because, deep down, he didn't want you to be like them. He didn't want you to look at him with disgust or anger or like he was just some stain on the back of your shoe that wouldn't come out. 

  
  
It was a gift. That's all it was.

  
  
Sadly he wasnt able to say sorry the next day he did show up at work. Like how the first day had started, you weren't there, the list taped to your front door but without a little note telling him where you were. It made him worry, but he knew that this was just karma getting back at him for being a jerk. Your personal life wasnt part of his job. The employee didn't need to know about his boss's appointments for the day. Then again, was that what this was truly about? It wasnt just some underling trying to get a sneak peek into their superior's life. It was a friend who was worried—a friend who wanted to help and comfort you.  


  
And that just made things worse.

  
  
By the time Shane had finished the list, the sun was setting deep behind the thick trees to the farms west, the small golden rays just barely peeking through the leaves of maple trees and the thick grass tickling over Shane's ankles. The animals had already gone back into their homes, and Shane was stuck debating whether to enter the farmhouse. What could be keeping you out this late? Giving out those baskets would maybe take an hour or two. It wasnt like there was a ton of people in the town or like there was a lot of room between the houses. 

  
So did that mean you were in the mines? How long did you stay there? Why did Shane ask so many damn questions all the time?

  
  
The door seemed more chipped than the last time he was at your door. The wood was splintering at the edges, and catclaw marks littered around the bottom where Cheeto had been trying to enter. Robin must've had recently repaired the porch, but there seemed to be an indent where a hole was poorly patched, and a few patches of moss was starting to grow along the stones. Sure, it was a cool overgrown look if you were doing a photoshoot, but living inside with this much fungus wouldn't end well. I mean, what even is this ventilation? There were so many things he could be fixing right no-

  
  
Before he could even finish, the door was creaking open, and he jumped back in shock. Oh...right, he was going inside.

  
  
"Um....Is anyone...home? (Y/n)...?" Darkness covered the entire place, and he had to pull out his phone just for a flashlight. The beam didn't do much to help ((Damn you, Joja supplied knock-off iPhones...)), but it gave him a better view of the light switch. It took a few moments before the light bulbs responded, and even then, they seemed to flicker every few moments while Shane carefully slipped off his shoes. If you did get mad for him being in your house, you might as well not add tracking mud to the list of reasons he screwed up with you.

  
  
Just like before, all the furniture was lightly dusted over from its lack of use, but unlike before, there were a few more signs of a person living here. A lone coffee cup was settled onto the table in front of the TV, a few pans where you had made breakfast, and the floor newly mopped. Shane was, if anything, purely impressed just by your lack of dishes. Was that a drying wrack? God, you really were a functioning adult. You probably even filed your own taxes and made doctor appointments and-

  
  
"Mreowwwww."

  
  
"GAH!"

  
  
"MREOW!" Cheeto's fur spiked up when Shane stumbled back. The coat hanger jabbed into his shoulder roughly while he tried to back from the cat in fear. Thankfully, Cheeto seemed to calm down after realizing it was their owner's bumbling friend who spent all morning chasing that chicken again. No point in attacking someone so weak anyway.

  
  
The room over had its light still on, but no sounds were coming from there. Since Shane didn't get a full tour, he assumed it was either your bathroom or your bedroom, but the sign with a stick man and woman kind of gave away which was the bathroom. So....Your bedroom...where you sleep...and get changed...definitely off-limits to an employee and even a friend...He realllllllllly shouldn't go inside...

  
  
"Whoops!" Shane 'accidently' pushed open the door, his head peeking in quickly to make sure no one was inside. 

  
  
Thank Yoba, an empty bed. 

  
  
There was even more personality in here than outside. While the rest of the house had been cleaned and perfectly arranged, your room was a messy chaos of papers, tools, strewn about books, and hundreds of other random knick-knacks. Even though only one person was sleeping in this house, the bed was big enough for two. A TV set up across from it between two bookcases spilling out. Next to that was a small brown chair, the seat worn out, and a few lone strings starting to pull out along the seem. A handmade quilt was thrown over it lazily, and clothes piled up by another door leading to the bathroom. No dirty laundry basket? Maybe you weren't as adult as he thought.

  
  
Even so, he smiled softly at the little notes you had left around your desk. The handwriting was quick and messy and loopy to the point it was almost unreadable. You had left out a few of your letters and much cleaner than the quick 'I need more chicken feed' or 'remember to buy those nice seeds this year' papers. Oh, my, yoba, was that a chicken sketch on that letter?! DID YOU DRAW THAT ON ALL YOUR LETTERS?!?

  
  
Carefully, Shane shoved one of the older letters into his pocket while glancing around. Cheeto had moved to the rug by your bed, his eyes glaring up at Shane in disappointment. It made him feel like that he should explain to the cat why he was stealing....but that wasn't very smart...its a cat.

  
  
On your bedside was a small framed picture of your grandfather standing outside, arms looped around two tall girls and a younger boy to the left. He recognized your face, smiling but tired, your eyes unfocused and hair a ruffled mess. It looked like you weren't fully ready for the picture or that someone just told you bad news before forcing you to take a photograph. There was a forced smile on the other girl, but she was well put together in a tight pencil skirt and straight suit jacket that hugged a little too tightly. 

  
  
The youngest was barely even smiling. He looked bored, if anything. Then there was the man himself, good old grandpa (L/n). The entire town seemed so heartbroken when the news came through that he had passed, and they mourned for at least a week. Shane had to help bring back any animals on the farm and help take down the old farm equipment. Marnie and Shane had shoved them into an old shed towards the back of the farm. In hopes of respecting the (L/n)'s wishes, they built a small shrine tucked away from everything else, and the townspeople would visit every few weeks. As time passed, the visits stopped, and the farm went back to an overgrown mess of weeds and wood scattered from storms.

  
  
But in this picture, everything was different. The farmhouse looked new and freshly made, and your grandfather was smiling bright enough to make Shane grimace. It looked like the season was sometime during summer, fresh grapes growing on vines and hot peppers around your feet. Life looked good for the family, but there was something...off. Something missing...

  
  
The train of thought didn't last long. Shane only had so much time to look around before you ended up coming home, so best to take the opportunity while he had it. 

  
  
There wasnt much else besides the mini-fridge and bathroom. Shockingly, a fresh stock of beers and a small bottle of wine was tucked into it, a few bottle caps stacked up towards the back near whatever random snacks were shoved back there. Did you drink? Well, who didn't, after all, you were old enough....maybe...How old were you? Shane didn't know, but it had to be old enough for Gus to trust you to handle the drinks. Maybe you were just mature enough that Gus didn't worry about you getting drunk and rolling off some cliff.

  
  
Shane walked up to the bookcases, his fingers slowly tracing each cover with gentleness while reading off the titles. Finances, How To Farm For Dummies, Diary, Poems For The Sad And Lonely, wait, was that a Diary?!

Oh boy, this really was off-limits. Touching this was a line that a friend should never cross. He would be a horrible friend to go through something so personal, to look into your personal life like it was some...open book...Bad example, but you get the point.   


  
And yet, he was carefully settling on top of your bed with the book carefully opened up to the first page. The entire thing seemed to give off a whiskey scent, which really should be worrying, considering you would have to really smell like whiskey to transfer it to paper. But he wasnt focused on the lingering alcohol, but more so on the blocky lettering for your name in the owner's information section. The number had been crossed out and replaced at least four times, the address also changed but only twice, and your name was perfectly pristine. Huh, so THAT was your middle name.

  
  
Down below was your age carefully dated with the starting date, the small number making him startle back slightly. This was from when you were 18? I mean, the date wasnt even that far from now...He always knew you were young, and you had spent at least a year here working, so you had grown since then, but it was still so young. This was recent. 

  
  
But he didn't have time to go through it when a door suddenly slammed shut. Oh, shi-

  
  
"Hey boy...Did you get out of my room again? I thought I turned this light off so you wouldn't escape?" Of all the time for you to get back from whatever mystery mission you were on, it had to be RIGHT now?! "Ugh, that was not a fun walk. We really should buy a horse."

  
  
"Meow."

  
  
"Sebby said hi. He wanted me to bring some of his sashimi." Carefully standing up, Shane tucked the book into the small hoodie pocket while inching to the bathroom. If he timed this right, you should either go into the bathroom, and he can bolt for the front door, or you go into your room, and he loops through the bathroom. Either way, this was his only way of getting away with sneaking into your house. "I'm going to go take a shower real quick, ok? After that, we can get started on dinner... I was thinking of ordering a pizza and maybe inviting sh-...."

  
  
Did you...were you going to say his name? Why did you stop? Oh yeah, you two had an argument. Focus, now is not the time to wonder if that was a date or whether you were going to call later to ask him out for dinner. You had to shower, so going to the bathroom. Shane needed to get ready to bolt out of the bedroom.

  
  
Ok, timing....gotta time perfectly...this was a life or die situatio- oh my god, were you goING TO UNDRESS RIGHT THERE?!?

  
  
THIS WAS SO MUCH WORSE, THEN JUST STEALING YOUR DIARY! Now he was just STANDING there watching you tug off your tee-shirt, how your chest bounced slightly from the motion...your...really nice legs...that nice ass when you wiggled down out of those tight jeans....holy shit, he was in love...

  
  
WAIT NO! Shane shook his head quickly and looked away. How could he even THINK that?! It wasnt love. He just thought you had a nice body and respected you as his boss/friend/whatever. Friends can admire the other ones' looks, that isnt weird, THIS WASNT WEIRD. It was just an accident. 

  
  
It would've been weird if he snuck in to watch you undress, but he hadn't, so this was perfectly OK.

  
  
And yet, when you had finally got into the bathroom, he paused in front of your thrown clothes. On top of them, there was a pair of lacy blue panties, the color almost perfectly matched to his hoodie, and the material looked so damn soft...and you had just thrown it aside...You wouldn't notice if it just went uh...missing...would you?  
  
..........................................  
  
  
  
......................................................................

  
  
.................................................................................Yeah, you wouldn't notice...


End file.
